Musings is a space where I share reflections and insights from both my personal journey and my work in healing. My hope is that these words offer you moments of clarity, comfort, or simply a gentle pause in your day.
SHADOWS
All parts of me are within me
The one that felt shame
The one that liked to blame
The one that felt the need to lie
The one that wanted to die
The one that wanted to run away
The one that wanted to stay
Fear, Anger, Grief, Guilt, Loneliness
She sometimes felt it all at once
She also had many moments
When she felt completely numb
All parts of me are within me
And they will always be
I see them all, I accept them all
I love them all, I thank them all
It took me a while to see the iridescent glow
They allowed me to move freely and flow
I see that my shadows are not dark or grey
They all glow differently and they all stay ❤️
THE FIRE WITHIN
Step into your power! The fire that fuels life, the fire that burns all the impurities and insecurities, that fire is always inside you. Don’t let anyone else ever tell you otherwise.
We often forget the strength that we carry, we often forget the light that we bring-this is your sign to truly shine✨
Anything that weighs you down, whether it’s your entanglement with others or your fears or limiting beliefs, write it on a paper and burn it down. Pray to the sacred energy of fire and let it all go. You owe it to your journey, thus far!!!
What doesn’t serve you needs a release,
Burn the obstacles and step into your ease,
Choose your path, be strong, be bold
This fire is transforming your pain into gold!
Release what’s holding you back, release what’s keeping you from moving, release what’s not yours, release what’s in the past, release what you don’t want to bring forward!!! You choose what you wish to carry, you have the power to make that choice 🔥🔥🔥
It’s so important to surround ourselves with people who can connect with our authentic self. People who let you ‘be you’ and create space for your emotions.
Words fail me when I try to describe my relationship with my siblings. From having intense fights over the T.V. remote control to having profound spiritual conversations, we’ve surely come a long way. I am in awe of how all three of us are growing in our individual journey. We feel supported but not dependent, we know that we love each other unconditionally but we don’t take each other for granted. I know I can count on them but at the same time I believe in their autonomy of making life choices for themselves. I know that they carry similar emotions in their heart and this has allowed all three of us to stay connected at the core. We don’t look at each other just as siblings, we look at each other as the most trusted source of strength and inspiration.
There was a period when we used to live together in Bangalore, India and we used to be lost in our own lives. All three of us lived under the same roof but we couldn’t hold space to fully honour our own emotions. As a result, we were “good siblings” just like “good roommates”. We would be overly consumed about protecting each other and kept projecting our parent wounds onto each other. Thankfully, our higher self guided us and once we started to look within. We became fully available to our own emotions and we could see each other in the most authentic way possible.
Inner work allows you to live every relationship fully. It’s the only way where the energy of proving your love and trust gets dissipated. All that’s left is an honest way of giving and receiving love, with ourselves and with others.
HERE…
I get scared
And I doubt myself…
Am I in the right direction?
What if I get lost
And can’t be found?
But won’t that happen anyway?
I will be lost one day
To be found elsewhere…
Somewhere across space and time
Or maybe, right here.
What if you start believing that you are exactly where you need to be in your life? Right now, this moment is where all the answers will come to you. Everything that you are wanting to know, everything that you want from the future is all possible through the door of your current reality.
I’ve had many moments in my life when I felt really lost. I thought nothing made sense and I didn’t understand why I had to go through so much pain. And then slowly I started to see how each of those painful moments had something for me, something that I needed to learn, to apply, to experience. It made me ready for my tomorrow.
Anytime, I feel a little confused about my current reality, I pause and look within - what am I getting from here? What is my current reality trying to tell me? And it takes away the confusion and the anxiety away from me.
It’s not easy, but once you get the taste of it , it will transform the way you operate in your daily life. I trust where I am, I trust how I am. I trust my HERE✨
It’s been 15 years since I started living away from my parents, away from the home in Calcutta where I grew up. Earlier, if someone would ask me “Do you miss home?” - I would either avoid that question or simply say “not really
I didn’t know what ‘missing’ really meant. I used to talk to parents regularly on calls, I would keep contact with friends and family, anytime I missed any particular kind of food, I would either make it or find a place to go and eat, I would celebrate the festivals in my own way. Basically, I thought I did everything that made me ‘not miss’ my home.
But then, no matter what I did, there was something that felt missing - it was that feeling of being in that home at that particular phase of my life. I was missing that lived emotion, almost like missing a particular scent but you can’t describe it to anyone.
I own that feeling of missing now. I don’t neglect it or distract myself when I feel it. I let it go through my body, sometimes it makes me cry and sometimes it makes me laugh - but it has a place now, in my life, in my story.
I know that no matter what choices I would have made or wherever the river of my fate would have carried me, I would feel this missing. This missing is an important element of my present day - it is a very special part of me.
Yes, I miss home - that sense of familiarity 🧡
NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, WHERE YOU COME FROM ALWAYS STAYS INSIDE YOU!
I have been viewing many beautiful sunsets lately and sometimes instead of simply soaking in the beauty, I catch myself feeling sad.
But why sad? Am I not happy with where I am today? Am I not content with my life? Is something wrong with me? Am I regretting something?
What I have realised is that the emotion of ‘sadness’ is not all about negativity and worry. Sometimes the only way our body can release an emotion is through some sad tears. I let it happen whenever it comes to me. I don’t fight my sad emotion and start searching for some happy insight right away. I try to sit with it, understand it a little more, listen to it a little more.
When I do that, I see my journey thus far. I see where all I have been - those dark alleys where nothing seemed promising and then those days of feeling hopeless and empty. I see how there were times when I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel and then there were times when I gathered immense strength within to do something about my pain. I see it all, and I understand that many of those emotions are finding some release in unsaid words when I witness a peaceful, serene moment now, in my present.
There is no destination of being fully healed - it is all a journey, it continues beyond life and death. All that matters is that we start feeling the space within to hold it all together. I am happy that I can hold my sadness now, within me, whenever it comes up. That’s what healing means to me. That’s what inner work does. I am not spilling over as I interact with others, I don’t stay in the room of blame and shame for long, I carry the space within me. I am able to smile from the core of my heart and truly feel the peace within. My situations and people around me are no longer controlling my emotions because I am not trying to avoid any particular emotion. It’s all invited and it’s all contributing to what we call ‘happiness’.
Maa
“l see you”
“I see the young adult who became a mother at the age of 19 years”
“I see the young girl who was not allowed to wear jeans when she was growing up”
“I see the young woman who was scared to manage everything in the house, yet she did”
“I see the woman who was conditioned to follow the social norms even if she felt otherwise”
“I see the love that you always had for me even if I couldn’t receive it sometimes”
“I see you more and more”
“I am the happiest when I see you taking care of yourself - it gives me the foundation to do the same for myself - THANK YOU!”
“I love you, Maa”
To all the mothers out there, take care of yourself, take care of your suppressed emotions and do this unapologetically. The powerful vibrational energy of a ‘mother’ healing is truly beyond words❤️❤️❤️